if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
