..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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