Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
