The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So. Much. Porn.
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