You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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