I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
