plz talk dirty to me
Will you blow on my dice?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
