I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
