another moral hangover. fuck.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
