So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
