i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
