yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
