goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
