no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
