I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
