Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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