How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
