i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he thought i was a dude.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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