She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
