Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
