My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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