Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The best revenge is premature balding
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
