i just google imaged poop.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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