She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize