She announced her abortion via fbk
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
