But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
