is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
