I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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