Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
