the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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