Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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