I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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