would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
