I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
