"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
