So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
