Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dicks are not precious.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
