When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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