I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
