my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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