You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
