My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There's always time for handjobs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
