i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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