I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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