She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
