We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
