Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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