I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
