Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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