My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
